This article is written by me – Kim Debron – it is owned by me. If you copy it, please give the credit to me, otherwise you are committing an act of plagiarism – you are stealing my work.
A list of common terms and words used.
BDSM: a term made from 3 pairs of words – Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & submission and Sadism & Masochism.
Bondage: Being restrained in some way – rope, chain, scarves, plastic wrap, etc
Discipline: Punishment of some kind – spanking, caning, corner time, lines etc.
Dom/Dominant: One who enjoys being in control and having a measure of power over another person. Often a person who has made a lifestyle choice rather than a role play.
Master: Non-gender specific – used as a title to show respect to someone who has mastered his or her craft, it can be bestowed upon someone by the Community. It can also be used within a relationship as a title for the dominant used by the submissive or slave.
Sub/Submissive: One who willingly and consensually gives up some control to another person. Often a person who has made a lifestyle choice rather than a role play.
Slave: One who has given up all control to another person – a slave makes one choice - just once, to be a slave.
Sadism: Feeling of enjoyment from giving pain
Masochism: Feeling of enjoyment from receiving pain.
Top: A term sometimes used to describe a person who is playing the role of Dominant for an agreed time frame or get together – a casual player rather than someone who has made a lifestyle choice.
Bottom: A term sometimes used to describe a person who is playing the role of submissive for an agreed time frame or get together – a casual player rather than someone who has made a lifestyle choice
Switch: A person who alternates between Dominant and submissive.
Munch: A gathering of people in a normal (vanilla) every day setting, usually a restaurant or café, to share a meal and get to know others. A good first place to start out if you are new. Casual clothes, not a place for play or any kind of Fetish interactions.
Play: The physical act of S&M interaction between a Dominant and a submissive – eg flogging. Play can sometimes be called “scening”
Toys: Implements used in a play session or scene – eg flogger, paddle, cane, knife, rope.
Safe Word: A word which will stop all play activity – this is very important to ensure the safety and wellbeing of the submissive – RED is the most common word used. Failure to honour a safe word is seen as serious misconduct.
Traffic Lights: In the same way a safe word is used, many people use traffic light colours to indicate their level of comfort during a play session:-
Green – I’m okay, I like it.
Orange/Yellow – I’m okay but this is about as hard as I want to go
Red – STOP NOW!
SSC (safe, sane and consensual): A term used to describe the basic principles of responsibilities of all parties involved – Everything should be based on safe, sane and consenting behaviour of all involved.
RACK: (risk aware consensual kink) A term used to describe the individual responsibilities of the parties involved - RACK concentrates more on awareness and informed consent, rather than accepted safe practices.
Hard Limit: Something that you will not do, and do not want to ever do in a play session or in a D/s relationship.
Vanilla: A term which refers to “normal” non kinky people, relationships and activities.
DM: (Dungeon Monitor) – a well respected, experienced person who watches all public play and monitors the activities for safety – this person will stop an activity if he or she sees it as unsafe/dangerous.
Club Etiquette: NO means NO, Do not touch other people’s property – which means not only toys, clothes, etc but also human property. Do not interrupt or try to join in a play session. Remember that a BDSM club is NOT a swingers club.
© kim debron 2011