This article is written by me – Kim Debron – it is owned by me. If you copy it, please give the credit to me, otherwise you are committing an act of plagiarism – you are stealing my work.
Total Power Exchange.
Many people in the lifestyle talk about Total Power Exchange, and the phrase seems fairly self explanatory.
However it is not quite as simplistic as it sounds, and i believe that for many, there are varying degrees and ideas of what it actually is and how it actually works.
So firstly, a definition of sorts:
Total Power Exchange:
Where two people consensually and voluntarily agree to a power relationship in which one assumes total responsibility and the other yields to that authority. The defining element of this Total Power Exchange is the deliberate construction of the dynamic, in which one person assumes some degree of psychological control over the other.
Simply put, these three words – Total Power Exchange - describe the giving over of total control to another person in a given or agreed situation.
This means that all decisions are made by that person, and it is absolute - that person has the final say. If it was not absolute then it would not be a TOTAL power exchange.
Many people think of Total Power Exchange as being only in a long term full time relationship but there are other instances where there can be a TPE between two consenting adults for a limited time – for example in a play situation for an hour or two, or perhaps an agreed number of days or weeks.
However, most TPE relationships are 24/7 D/s relationships, meaning a Dominant and submissive or slave live together – not necessarily as a couple though this would be the most common scenario.
The Dominant assumes total control over the slave’s life. All final decisions are made by the Dominant, though in reality most things are probably discussed at length and any thoughts the slave may have are usually taken into consideration.
There is another term which can be used to describe Total Power Exchange –Consensual Slavery - and in fact that is probably a more accurate description of any full time relationship which is based on a TPE.
A slave is someone who has been forced to give up all freedom and all rights as a person. We have all heard about the terrible slavery that went on in the world, and in some places still does, however Consensual Slavery has a different context.
A person who has consented to a full time relationship with a Dominant, and who has consented to a TPE, has in effect agreed to Consensual Slavery. Of course, within the constraints of the “real” world in which we live, there are factors which sometimes get in the way – family, friends who do not understand, jobs, general everyday things as we go about our lives. However, most who are in these TPE relationships cope well with managing to keep things in perspective.
There is a huge amount of trust involved, it is not easy to hand your life to someone and say “here, take this and look after it” At the same time, there is an equally huge responsibility on the Dominant, who now has another human being’s life to take care of.
There is also the common misconception that a TPE involves micromanaging of the slave – in other words every single moment of the slave’s life is managed and decided by the Dominant.
What time the slave gets up, how much time under the shower, what to eat for every meal, what to wear, what time to do this, or that… a timetable which must be adhered to.
Not every TPE is about micromanaging – it is hard work for the Dom and takes someone very special and committed to be able to cope with it.
My Master and i have a TPE relationship but i am not micromanaged.
I believe that i would hate it, and so would He.
i think for many it is a fantasy but the reality is of course not always the way we imagine, or really want it to be.
In our relationship, i have given over the total control of my life to my Master, it gives me a sense of freedom, yet i am constrained within His guidelines for my life.
It gives me a sense of purpose, yet the decisions are His.
To what extent do we have a Total Power Exchange? Within the walls of Master’s house, His word is absolute – when we are out, i obey His commands, subtle or otherwise depending on where we are. Whether i am with Him or not, His rules for me are how i live my life. This is Total Power Exchange.
As i stated earlier there are other situations that can be seen to be a Total Power Exchange, yet are not 24/7 Relationships.
A play session between Dom and sub is a Total Power Exchange. For that time, the Dom has the control and the power to make the decisions and to take charge. The submissive has agreed to the power exchange – it is part of the play and an important element in a successful session.
For the Dominant, there is nothing like knowing that you have been given this power, to be in charge, to be wholly responsible for every moment, for the pleasure and the satisfaction of both yourself and another person.
For the submissive, there is nothing like being completely free to enjoy the moment with no responsibility, and to lose yourself in the sensations and mindset of that moment.
Of course there can be occasions when a power exchange is not a TPE. A play session may take place, where one or other party holds back – this does not mean it isn’t real - it is a partial power exchange. A submissive may not be able to let go completely and give everything – heart, mind, body and soul, and equally, a Dominant may not wish to take full control and responsibility.
There can be a Total Power Exchange on a casual or part time basis as well.
A good example of this is Master’s relationships with the other submissives in our family – currently one fully collared and one under consideration.
These two submissives lead lives outside of D/s. One sees Master maybe once a month or so, usually at an event, and during the time she is in His company, there is a Total Power Exchange between them. She is serving Him, filling her needs to be His submissive, and giving over control of her life, even just for that short time.
The submissive currently under consideration comes to the house at least once a week, and also attends events with us as well. From the moment he walks in the door, there is a Total Power Exchange between himself and our Master.
He needs the mindset that the TPE and giving of control to Master gives him, and for those few hours, those needs are filled. I believe i would find this very hard to cope with now, though i managed it well in the beginning before i moved in with Master.
However, it suits them both and is the nature of what they share with Master. It does not make these two any less of a submissive than me or anyone else, it is just a different way, and it fills their needs.
Of course, these thoughts, are as always, only my own point of view - facts that i have learned and my own interpretation of those facts.
There are other opinions and other people see things differently.
Whichever way we choose to look at it, a Total Power Exchange involves the giving of your whole self to another human being. In that defining moment, whether it be for 24 hours a day 365 days a year, or for just a few hours or days, it has to be done with trust and truth – and faith in the person who offers the power as well as in the one who accepts. Only then is it truly a Total Power Exchange.
© Kim Debron 2007